Samantha Celera's "Love" Click for more images

Welcome to the final part (but not quite the end) in this love letter pentalogy.  For those just tuning in, you can read the first part (and I’d recommend you to) here.  If you’re looking for a love letter to kick all love letters… then you should probably take a tip from somewhere else.  Mine well… mine, didn’t exactly have the desired effect.

In my arrogance believing that I had found some magical key to finding the perfect relationship, much hinged on one thing… sharing similarities.

I had experienced some pretty tumultuous relationships in the past.  I had done and didn’t rate the whole opposites attract versions.  This one, was vastly more peaceful than any other.

Easy.  That’s the word I used to describe my “new” relationship to my mother when Scottish and I started dating.  It was a novelty that didn’t wear off for nearly four years.

Note “easy” doesn’t mean not challenging.  For me it just meant that it wasn’t “too hard”.

I had grown weary of having to battle for my rights to an inch of my life.  Life and love so it would seem isn’t ever supposed to be that hard.  If it is, then there is probably something fundamentally wrong.  Or you’re due a tough life or love lesson.

However given that a puppet isn’t reading this, if it ever gets that hard, you can choose to live and to love differently.  It’s in your hands to change.  No matter how small a corner we may have painted ourselves into.

While I didn’t find “the perfect relationship” (longevity being the proof) what I did recognise is the joy of sharing similar life aspects and ideals.

I could have written so much in this part of the letter.  We were after all best friends who liked to fuck.  And more often than not, make love.

Part 5- We Share:

Regarding parental influence I can only hypothesise about your past relationship from what I have learnt along the way and seen up ’til today.

Tough Love:
We share many things in common you and I.  Our childhoods were at times marred by the power our fathers’ wielded.

This type of love we were shown both cut and caressed our impressionable young souls.  While on most occasions it was done with our best interests at heart, it has made us sensitive, astute, honourable and intuitive.

In many ways I feel like you understand me better because we share a similar ache in our childhood.

Unconditional Love:
Lucky for us we equally shared in one of our greatest loves.  The love of our mothers.  My feeling is that they were the source of love for us.  They showed us love come what may.  When they could, they would fight our corner and tend to our wounds with motherly care.

We knew we were very lucky to have them and that we held a special place in their hearts.  Rarely, if at all, did we ever question whether that place was everlasting.  This gave us kindness, strength, integrity and humility.

More pick a mix for you…

Friends:
Could you find a good friend of yours (includes your brother) that doesn’t like me or feels that I am not good for you?  Are there any close friends of mine that feel that you are not equally matched with me?  I would be highly surprised if you found any.

We gravitate to the same kind you and I.  Even though we know you are a little more guarded and it takes you a little longer to be won over; of the core people who truly colour our lives, we are loved by them individually and as a couple.  For some in almost equal amounts- with an ever so slight bias.

There is no better example than Benson.  But the same could be said for: Walker and Henriette, Vasquez and Toad [don't ask, the most ill fitting yet illustrious nick name known], B-boy, Clark, Spencer, no doubt Roman(ce) and Louise, Angelina and Soz and Heather and Gattica among others…

Family Values:
With our similar upbringings I can’t ever see us having a significant ideological difference.

We have seen how each family operates.  There is a lot of love and respect there.  A deep bond for the blood of family that few would dare put asunder.  It is how we can be separated from our family by time and distance yet maintain a strong bond.  Regardless of our checkered history.

I believe we both ultimately want the same things.  To have a unified partnership and one day raise happy, well balanced kids.  It would be nice to do this by removing some of the angst we had to go through to grow into well adjusted adults.

What makes a very large part of this a success, is your ability to show open mindedness- like when you were open to me letting the “email angels” into our home [whole other story].  Something so important in a partnership, in a family, whose boundaries constantly shift in circumstance, experience and age.

A Great Dad: [My guess the hot and cold sweats paragraph.]
I look at you with your niece and my heart swells with pride and affection seeing you with her.  Even when she was so tiny and arguably not particularly interactive i.e. couldn’t talk back, take your hand and tell you what she wanted.  Or delight and surprise you with her childlike insights.  I know you will make a wonderful dad, I see it.  I sense it.

It took me a little while to realise I would make a great parent.  I was frightened of the prospect until I was about 27. Having just returned from seeing Roman and Louise and little Lance, Louise commented that she thought I would make the best mum.  It was lovely to hear her say that.  It’s something other friends have commented on from time to time too.  I am keen to prove them right.  God knows I had a wonderful role model.

Taste:
Tell me where we disagree on design, travel destinations, music (Hhmmm ok maybe that Scottish band Deacon Blue), film, art, even food?  (the only thing I can think of here is my penchant for crunchy vegetables or stir fries over stodgy stuff); otherwise we are pretty much home and hosed.

I like that we appreciate the same things that life has to offer.  We see beauty in the same things.  That these things are often eclectic and wide reaching.  Our vision of life healthily broad.

To Be Continued… (This “War & Peace” love letter concludes in part -VI-)

Only recently I discovered that Scottish doesn’t like long letters.  No matter how flattering.  I guess hindsight isn’t always cruel, it can be funny…

Now if I were to ever give advice on how to write a love letter, I’d probably say- anything more than a Post It Note is a waste.  Before turning around and saying, actually… fuck it, just write what you want.  So long as it comes straight from your heart, write for as long or as short as you want.

Maybe love letters are equally a gift of yourself and for yourself…?

Thank you for reading and voting! (poll below ;) it really means a lot to this London lass!

Olivia x

And… if you like what I do here, show me a little ♥ by “like” ing Coax London on Facebook or follow me on Bloglovin or Twitter ;) It’s an easy way to keep up to date with new posts.  But if you really ♥ this post please share with friends or even thumb it on StumbleUpon! Thanking you always for your support x)